There and Back Again: A Grad School Tale by Me

I always thought that when I finally finished grad school, I would want to celebrate my awesomeness by throwing myself a giant party. But now that I'm here I just feel so grateful and so humbled by all the help that I had in graduating.

Sometimes it really does take a village. I had friends who watched Charlie during my classes for me, professors who held my hand through hard classes, two different advisors who mentored me through the beginning and end of thesis writing, classmates to commiserate with, a department secretary who went way beyond the call of duty, a mother-in-law to play with Charlie while I researched, loved ones who listened to my complaints and encouraged me anyway, and medical professionals who helped me find the right combination of treatments to get me functional again.

(Thank you thank you thank you!)

But mostly it takes the best person in the world at your side, supporting you and carrying you through the hardest parts.

If my journey through grad school is comparable to Frodo travelling to Mordor to destroy the Ring of Power, then Greg is my Samwise Gamgee. Frodo wouldn't have gotten far without Sam, and I certainly wouldn't have gotten far without Greg.

Greg rearranged his schedule to be at home with infant Charlie as much as possible while I was in classes. He worked hard at his job so that I didn't have to worry about finding paid work anymore. He helped me carve out study time and listened to endless complaints. He was especially patient with what have been lovingly named "The 11:30 pm Crazies" when the exhaustion hit me so hard and everything in the world was so terrible. He made sure I had time to exercise and keep some of the crazies at bay (which often meant sacrificing his own bike rides) and encouraged me to go to ubiquitous doctor appointments while making sure that we had enough money to pay for the ubiquitous doctor appointments. He helped me with my research almost daily (ssshhh, don't tell the IRB), listened to my practice thesis defense presentations, and fixed my tech problems the day of the defense. He put his career advancement on hold, transitioning to a from-home position so that we could move to Texas to have more help from Greg's family. Clearly, he was just as committed to my finishing, if not more so, than I was.

All of this without complaint, and even with a genuine smile, practically carrying me to the finish line.

So yeah, through this grad school experience I learned a lot more about linguistics, learned about Russian and Navajo, I gained experience and feminist values, and tested my personal limits again and again. But the most important thing that I learned was pointed out to me during a faith crisis last year. I was at the breaking point with my health struggles and all the demands on my mind and body, and I was angrily praying, trying to see what, if any, concrete heavenly help I had received besides the abstract notion of "Jesus is always there for you to lean on".

I cried, "Why haven't you given me any concrete help here?!"
and I felt the answer in a quiet voice in my mind and heart, "You've had Greg."

Very humbled in that moment, I realized that Greg had been God's hands in my life.
I learned that when you trust in God, He helps you when you need it. And His help almost always comes from people around you.

And yes, this is a few days before Valentines Day, but all cheesiness aside, this man that I married is truly the best man in the whole world. I have no idea where I would be without him. I cannot say enough about the amazing person that he is.

I vote that Greg be awarded an Honorary Master's Degree.
But really, I hope to support him in his goals as much as he has supported me.

I love you forever, Mr. Goodlooker.