It has been quite a while, so I've got a lot of gems to share from the brain of my firstborn son.
After learning about house elf magic in Harry Potter
"Look mom, I'm a house human!"
(If only, Bud. If only.)
"This isn't an m&m, there's no Ms on it!"
"My seat belt is being a DUMP!"
Describing giant sized Sour Patch Kids candy
"Sour patch grownups"
"No jumping on dads, especially if they're not yours!"
"If the baby comes out wearing a dress, then she's a girl, but if she comes out wearing pants, she's a boy."
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?I JUST CLEANEDED THAT UP!"
"When you drink alcohol, you can only think backwards."
This year he's gotten into watching gameplay videos on YouTube, and borrowed the opening line of his favorite YouTubers:
"Hey Gamers, it's me, Charlie, I'm looking for my mom."
FHE success stories:
"I made a good choice this morning, and the Holy Ghost gave me a high five!"
"If there was no Atonement, we'd all be bad guys."
After hounding me for weeks to take him to buy a Barbie (with his own money) I couldn't stand it and banned talk of Barbies for a day:
"Dad, I got an idea. Whoever listens to mom gets a Barbie. Tell mom!"
As I unwrap a Reese's Peanut Butter cup:
"Is that a muffin of chocolate?!"
Talking about blood type, and maybe life in general:
"I'm never positive."
After listening to me complain about being too hot for months:
"I think summer is a thing that should not exist."
"I think summer is a thing that should not exist."
"If you don't eat cheese, you're gonna die!"
Of course, I saved the potty quotes for last.
In the car:
Me: Can you wait to go potty until we get home, buddy?
Charlie: I'm very patient, but my bum isn't very patient
When desperation forced us into the only available bathroom in the library and the HUGEST BOWEL MOVEMENT EVER was already in the toilet and wouldn't flush after several of our attempts:
(Charlie, completely serious) "I think the poop is too heavy."
These are so good! I'm dying! I especially loved the gamer one and the Barbie one.
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